Stepping back and refocus

Lately, I have felt a bit off. I have not really been able to put my finger on it, but I have felt a bit frustrated. After some deep thinking, I have come to realize that I have felt this before. After pondering on my current situation, I have come to realize that I have puffed my chest a bit and inflated my ego. While I am not running around screaming that I am the best in the world, I have a slight chip on my shoulder. Even worse is that I have started to compare myself with others...

This is pure ego, and while I know my own worth, I am not the person that pound my chest or tries to impress others. As a result, I seem to have a misalignment between who I am and how I pursue life. This, in turn, causes some anxiety, which I suspect is worsened a bit by my Ozempic medication and my recent skin condition.

I started to see rashes on my abdomen and hips a few months ago, and about a month ago, they flared up severely. While I still wait for confirmation from the dermatologist, it seems I might have psoriasis or something called medallion sickness. This also leads to inflammation in my joints, and it drains my energy quite a bit. I am now on hydrocortisone, which has its own effect on me physically, so it is all fun right now😁

While I can't really confirm any correlation between my misalignment and my skin condition, it is triggered by stress. As I do not feel I am experiencing a lot of stress at work or at home, I figure this comparison with others and trying to impress rather than let work speak for itself can contribute.

So, I am doing a soft reset and refocus how I go about things.

This means that instead of trying to be someone, which is a stupid concept anyway, or trying to impress people, which again makes no sense for me, I will take a step back and let my actions speak for themselves. I have always felt that it is pointless to try to be good, and the only thing that matters is to do good. So that is where my focus is going to be going forward.

Sometimes you need a little self-check to get back to being yourself, especially when life seems to nudge you into areas where you are not happy. This does not mean I will disappear into a black hole or something. I will still be seen and promote both myself and the work I do, but it will not be to impress, but to inspire and help.

This is what I am passionate about.

This is me.