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  • My Personal Blog.

    This blog is where I place my own thoughts and reflections. For me this allow me to express things that are painful and frustrating, but also things that are amazing and put a smile on my face. This is me in my most intimate form.

    As a member of my site you are invited to get to know the personal aspects of me here. As I share my innermost hopes, fears and dreams I hope I can show you that you are not alone with yours. All people are complex and wonderful beings and by giving you a glimpse into me maybe I can make you see that in yourself as well.

    This is my heart I present to you. Please handle with care.

  • My Personal Blog

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

    Get up earlier to feel less tired?

    For a few months now I have felt tired, really tired, when waking up and while a lot of people will feel that this is normal, it has never been that for me. I am one of those strange people that are both a morning person and an evening person, so now that I am having some issues waking up fresh in the morning it's time for a change.
    One of the reasons for not waking up rested is of course overworking and not working out. I stopped working out after moving to Täby Kyrkby because there is no gym nearby that is open when I want, or rather need, to workout.
    Before the move I was fortunate enough to have a 24/7 gym just 2 km away and I loved getting up at 3.30 in the morning to go there. Besides getting a very nice workout in a gym that was not crowded I also felt invigorated by the amazing sunrise that I was greeted with on my way home in the spring and fall. In the summer I got that going to the gym instead, which is just amazing.
    I know that there is these theories that getting up early will empower you and increase your productivity, but that is not my reason for wanting to get back to early mornings. I simply need more time in my day and I want to get back to training again. Fortunately for me a new gym is opening in Vallentuna early next year just 3.7 km away!
    Getting up earlier is a great way to start the day regardless in my opinion because I get more time to do things and I get to start the day with no stress. At the moment I am restructuring my many websites to get them back in shape and refocused after splitting my blog into two. Having just an extra hour in the morning to write a blog post or on my book over a cup of newly brewed cup of coffee would just be amazing.
    So starting today I will change my daily routine to get some calisthenics training in and also to get some stretching going because I am getting old and inflexible, which is not good. Tomorrow I'll set the clock for 5 a.m. instead of 6 to see how that feels and then I'll go for 4.30 or even 4 if it feels good so I am prepared for when the new gym open next year.
    I see a lot of people talking about how they loose energy in the day from getting up early. That is most likely because they do not compensate for the time shift and they try to still eat at the same times. To compensate for this you can do what I do and just have a protein shake before hitting the gym and then eat breakfast at 7 as usual. Or you can add another meal in at around 10 to keep your energy levels even.
    With an earlier start and some workout I should get rid of this feeling of being tired and the energy levels should get back to normal quickly. I am really looking forward to getting back to the gym so I guess I need to get a new pair of running shoes this week since my old ones are getting a little to worn out. Getting my Nike Edition Apple watch in a few weeks also feel like good timing!
    Are you also getting up a bit earlier in the morning or are you like me right now and not really in the mood for early mornings?

    For the first time in years my heart does not sing loudly with joy at the idea of going back to work...

    I have the best work in the world as I get to be a part of building incredible E-commerce solutions along side with awesome people from all over the world. For the past 10+ years my heart has been singing with joy and I have been reluctant to leave work at night and eager to get back to it in the morning. As vacation is nearing it's end my heart does not sing as loud as it used to...
    There is a cloud muffling the song of joy inside me while at the same time another song is slowly building up. In my mind a thousand things fly by as always, but one thought have slowly been overshadowing them all during the vacation: I am leaving my current work for another.
    This might seem trivial to some, but to me leaving my current company fill my heart with sadness. It has been my home and my extended family for five wonderful years and I have loved every single moment of my time here. 
    The people I work with are the best in the world and there is a bond between us that I can not really explain. We truly care for each other and our clients and that special feeling that I have every time I come to work has made a world of difference for me.
    Despite this I have made the decision to move on. A new company will be my home this fall and that fill my heart with excitement. A new beginning with new people that I get to know, a different focus and a different model for salary. These things fuel my passion for what I do and I very much look forward to the challenges ahead.
    Still I struggle with the two feelings of sadness from saying goodbye to my current colleagues and the joy of starting something new and exciting with another company.
    So my heart does not sing as loud as it used at the idea of getting back to work on Monday. It is with sadness I do my last weeks at my current company as I will have to leave behind so many awesome co-workers and friends even though I take comfort in knowing they will keep things awesome long after I am gone.
    It is with joy I look forward to the new challenges ahead and i know that it is just a matter of time before that song return again as loud as before. I need this change as I need to challenge myself to grow, but right now it hurt a bit.
    All things in life changes and change never comes without pain.
    I move forward, towards new challenges and new experiences.
    To hear that song return again, louder and stronger.
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